Or are at least a very inefficient way of spending time and money.
While this is hardly a new revelation to me or anyone else, it has become obvious that going to nightclubs for the purpose of meeting girls is not very efficient. A lot of guys may disagree me with me here and that’s understandable. A man’s preference for meeting girls in night-time venues is probably highly dependent on his personality. An strong extravert may feel particularly comfortable in such a venue.
However I am quite introverted. Although I do not regularly struggle with the approach anxiety I have about on other blogs, starting conversations with ten to fifteen individuals or groups (girls have this annoying tendency to have friends) per night can end up being very tiring. There is of course an element of ‘fake it til you make it’ in this activity but you can only go against your personality so far. This doesn’t mean making excuses and never leaving your comfort zone but rather thinking of other venues and scenarios that a less energetic or more introverted man would be more proficeint at.
The attitudes of girls in these venues is often tiresome. This likely comes down to how much you personally can tolerate unpleasant behaviour (other writers have called this the ‘bitch shield’). Now this isn’t as bad as I’m making it out to be. There certainly can be lovely girls who would love to get to know you in these places, I have met a number of them myself. It’s just that the ratio of pleasant to bitchy attitudes is not particularly favourable. Naturally this ratio is affected by your appearance and the tightness of your game.
Then there’s the financial aspect. Given that a large percentage of the people who attend these venues are students (myself included) it is likely a significant part of their weekly expenses especially when considering its low levels of efficiency. When you factor in all of the aspects of a night out: predrinking, transportation, entry fees, drinks while in the venue, junk food after the venue closing (though it has been a long time since I’ve done this, has there been anything written on fast-food joint game?) etc, it can get pricy. Even if you were to be particularly frugal we’re still talking between £15-£30 per night. Many students regularly attend these venues 2-3 times per week so it is clear to see how it adds up. Aaron Clarey (who posts at Captain Capitalism) talks about this in more detail in this video: Death of the nightclub.
Recovering the next day is the last thing I want to mention. This is pretty self-explanatory though the amount of times I’ve missed morning weekend events in the past due to a hangover is not a nice thought. Neither is the number of shifts at my old job powered through with a pounding headache and ringing ears.
Where and when you can meet girls in other venues might be what you’re thinking now. I have a few suggestions for you.
The first is to check out the societies and groups present at your university if you are a student. There may be some that suit your interests and any anxiety you feel approaching girls will be reduced due to having something in common (making conversations easier to start). For example, the gardening and biology societies at my school have put me in contact with a number of attractive girls. The number and attractiveness of girls you meet will vary depending on which society you attend of course (I wouldn’t give too much thought to the videogame or Japanese animation societies).
Secondly there are always coffee shops, book stores, parks (decent weather is a rarity here, so not for me) and other public venues. Roosh V has written extensively about this both on his site and in his book Day Bang.
Thirdly, as mentioned in the video I linked to, there is online dating. Sites like Plenty of Fish and OkCupid are free to use and offer a means to contact numerous girls near you. The number of these girls you would actually want to contact varies of course and there is the downside of having to message a lot of girls to get a decent number of replies. A guide to these kind of sites has been written over at Return of Kings. I’d suggest this last one as optional as it copy and pasting messages to dozens of different girls wont do too much for your social skills.
There are of course other ways and places to meet girls. House parties have got to be the best overall. They seem to combine the fast pace of night-time interactions minus the attitude and conversation-inhibitingly loud music. This is true if what you’re invited to isn’t a complete sausagefest however. The excitement of a party invite is made bitter when you see the guest list is over 75% male.
While I have certainly had fun in clubs in the past but now the disadvantages are outweighing the advantages by a far enough margin that other means seem far more appealing. While I haven’t tried clubs outside of the UK much, other countries in the West (the USA particularly) seem to tell a similar tale.